A friend sent me this "article" recently. Allen has eighty-two of several things - moldy-on-the-inside hats, for example, or nightly exuberant high fives with Steveland Swatkins - but millions of dollars ain't one of 'em. Trust me, your friend Trevor would be frolicking in an Olympic sized pool filled with jelly beans if that were the case.

It's a badge of honor, I suppose, achieving click-bait-worthy levels of a thing, and I love the inspiringly lazy title of "People with Money." As a fan of preposterousness, this makes me chuckle, which is most welcome as I'm setting my alarm for 3am, which of course is also preposterous.