Behold, the greatest representation ever of the Al Stone band's tour manager/FOH engineer, Ryan "Bear" Drozd.

There's a story behind this portrait, which I don't know. What I do know is it's the current lock screen on my phone, so that whenever I'm feeling mistrustful of this cruel, arbitrary world, Ryan "Bear" Drozd's piercing gaze, betraying his near-omniscience, hammers home an elegant, inexorable truth: just as I'll never jump as high as Michael Jordan, I'll never be as cool as Ryan "Bear" Drozd. Know your place, the universe tells me, which is laying metaphorical rose petals at the Great Man's feet.

He's also beet red while reading this, which is the whole point. See you tomorrow, Bear!